英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣。今天小编整理了一些英语小故事，希望对大家喜欢。
英语幽默故事：病人和他的大夫
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”
一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.
这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”
"Yes，do you need a partner ?"
“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”
英语幽默故事：磕睡之人
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时睡觉。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人打瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好地教育他不要睡觉。
In a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise，" Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering" Be seated"，the minister shouted at the top of his voice，"All those who want to be with the devil，please rise. "
他低声地对教徒们说:“想去天堂的人都站起来。”除打瞌睡的人外，每个人都站了起来。牧师说过请坐之后，高声喊道:“下地狱的请站起来!”
Awaking with a start，the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit,”Well，sir," he said.,"I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声所惊醒，站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气地望着他。他说:“先生，我不知我们在选什么，但看上去你和我是唯一的侯选人。”
英语幽默故事：警察的热心
I was surprised to learn that my 72-year-old mother dared to drive 900 miles in a 12-year-old car to visit asked how she made out，she told me just l her second night. She had filled the gas tank and didn't have the money for a motel room.
当听说我72岁的母亲居然开着12年的旧车行驶了900英里来看我时，我真有些吃惊。在我问她是如何做的时候，她告诉我她一切都好，只是到了第二天晚上，给汽车加油后却没有住旅馆的钱。
"What did you do?"I asked.“
那你怎么办了?”我问道。
" Well，"she began，“I was driving through this small town and feeling very sleepy. A policeman pulled me over and asked if I had been drinking. When I told him no，he wanted to know why I was weaving all over the road，I explained my situation,’‘Follow me，”he then drove to a motel where the nice officer paid for my night's lodging.
她说:“嗨，我开到这个镇子时，感到很困，一位警寨叫住了我。他问我是
否喝了酒，我说没喝。警察问我为什么开车在路上打晃晃。于是我解释了我的情况。他命令道:“跟我走。”就这样，我们就开到了一个汽车旅馆。警察替我付了住店费。 "As he was leaving,"Mother continued,”he turned to me and said,I Ma'am，the next time you have to visit your daughter，please take another route.'”
妈妈接着说:“他离开时，转过身，冲着我说:‘夫人，你下次要看儿女时，请走另一条路线吧!’”