Your Horoscopes - Week Of June 7, 2016
Aries | March 21 to April 19
白羊座 3.21-4.19It may be years before your coworkers treat you with respect again, but it will have been worth it for the brief time spent in the panda suit.
让你的同事再次尊敬的对待你也许要好多年，但这将会是值得的，因为你穿熊猫西服度过了一段时间。
Taurus | April 20 to May 20
金牛座 4.20-5.20You will be upgraded with improved graphics and greater ease of use, but processor speed remains a problem.
你将会使用升级改善过的制图法，会更容易使用，但是处理器的速度仍然是个问题。Gemini | May 21 to June 20
双子座 5.21-6.20Awesome forces beyond your control will continue to cause pictures and sounds to emanate from your TV.
不受你控制的强大力量将继续形成从电视机散发出来的图片和声音。Cancer | June 21 to July 22
巨蟹座 6.21-7.22As the August issue of Vogue says, being fashion-forward in every aspect of your life is easier than ever. However, this assurance merely serves to confuse you.
正如《时尚》杂志的八月刊上所载，现在生活中每一方面表现的前卫比以往任何时候都更容易。然而，这一保证只是为了迷惑你。Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22
狮子座 7.23-8.22Strangely, no one will congratulate you when you finally win your lifelong battle with oxygen addiction.
很奇怪的是，当你终于在与氧气上瘾这一终身战斗中获胜时，却没有人来恭喜你。Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
处女座 8.23-9.22This will be a lucky week indeed, since no one enjoys a good concussion more than you.
本周确确实实是个幸运周，因为没有人比你的脑震荡结果要好。Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
天秤座 9.23-10.22When you boasted last week that "nothing can stop me now," you apparently forgot about syphilis.
当你上周吹嘘到"现在没有什么能阻止我了"时，显然忘记了梅毒。Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
蝎子座 10.23-11.21Investigators from several federal agencies will conclude that the failure of an 89-cent O-ring caused you to explode over Florida.
几个联邦机构的调查员们将会得出结论：89分的橡胶圈的失败导致了你在佛罗里达州的爆炸。Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
射手座 11.22-12.21Your fascination with the Vietnam War, combined with your love of romance novels and vampire myths, cause you to produce the worst work of fiction ever.
你对越南战争的痴迷，再加上你对浪漫小说和吸血鬼神话的喜爱，将会让你写出史上最差的科幻小说。Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
摩羯座 12.22-1.19Don't worry: Men won't realize it's a prosthesis at first, and by the time they do, they'll have paid and gone.
别担心：刚开始人们不会意识到它是假肢的，但是随着时间的推移，他们是会发现的，但那时候他们已经付完钱走人了。Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
宝瓶座 1.20-2.18You've been on hold for three years now and are beginning to suspect that your call isn't important to them after all.
你已经等别人电话等了3年，现在你开始怀疑你的电话也许对别人根本不重要。Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20
双鱼座 2.19-3.20It's never too late to start your life over, but hurry, as you only have minutes left.
重新开始生活永远不晚，但是你要赶快，就好像还剩下几分钟一样加快。